


In which the Lord ate the Sun and then replaced it

by ButtBoogeymanShootingTowardsTheSky



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Original Fiction, Outer Space, POV Third Person, also alternatively titled as "im not getting payed enough for this", alternatively titled as "that time my boss literally vored the sun and destroyed the universe", is that even a tag, pseudo mythology, space, sun - Freeform, sun eating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 10:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18193412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButtBoogeymanShootingTowardsTheSky/pseuds/ButtBoogeymanShootingTowardsTheSky
Summary: I should do literally anything but this, but hey -- procrastination, amirite?This might be a series or might not be one, alternatively I just might add other unrelated short stories to this if I feel like it.Yeehaw.





	In which the Lord ate the Sun and then replaced it

Carefully balancing the volumes carried in his one arm, M. reached towards the golden doorknob and opened the door.  
Immediately, a hot, white light blinded him and with a yelp he dropped all the books to the floor in a hurry to cover his eyes.

They burned and tears streamed down his flushed cheeks uncontrollably.

“My lord, what is the meaning of this? What is happening?!” He asked, frightened, with his hands still clutching his face.

“Ah, don’t worry, don’t worry!” Answered the Lord, sounding as carefree as usual, as all immortals tended to do. “I’m just eating the Sun, you see. There’s only just a bite left, so soon you will be able to uncover your eyes.” With that, the Lord proceeded to inhale the rest of the Sun with a loud chomp. “See? There we go, it’s been eaten. Now I am the Sun.”

Slowly, M. uncovered his eyes. The light was gone, and the Lord’s office looked nothing out of the ordinary – spacious, with plush, red carpet covering the floor, fire crackling in a fireplace to the side and furniture so big that a coffee table reached M.’s chest and shelves were so high that even with his head raised towards the ceiling, M. couldn’t see the top of it.

To a regular human the size of it would seem ridiculous, but it was all, in fact, perfectly reasonable –  after all The Lord was good three meters tall for majority of the week.

“You just ate the Sun. Just like that.” Said M., stupefied. “And what do you mean, you became the Sun?”

The Lord answered: “Indeed, I became the Sun. After all you are what you eat, it’s only logical then, that since I ate the Sun I turned into one.”

M. shook his head, clearly doubting. “Yesterday you ate dumplings, does this mean you also became the dumplings?”

The Lord hummed and stroked his shaggy, long beard in thought. “Hmm… Yes, by that logic I did. Yesterday I was a dumpling, tomorrow, who knows? I might just turn into a Moon!”

“A Moon?" Asked M., surprised. "Isn’t it a little bit of a downgrade from the Sun? It is merely a satellite, after all. Not to mention that you just ate the very thing that made it so enticing!”

“Ah, you have a point in saying that” agreed the Lord. “But! Isn’t this ‘satellite’ something that humanity greatly treasures? They make whole charts of its phases, they used to make entire journeys just to explore it! Doesn’t it make the Moon a treasure equal to the Sun?”

M. couldn’t find a counter-argument to that, so he decided to change the topic. “Now that you ate the Sun, what will become of the universe and the humanity?”

“What do you mean?”

M.explained: “Without the Sun the planets will all veer off their orbits and the humans will freeze to death! After all it is the Sun that is in the center, and that gives warmth to what it is surrounded by.”

“Ah!”Exclaimed the Lord. Then he heaved out of his chintz chair and rushed towards the door. “You are right! In that case we must head out to the place from which I’ve plucked the Sun immediately!”

M. quickly stepped away from the entrance to let the Lord pass, then proceeded to speed-walk after him. “My Lord, what do you intend to do?!”

They briskly walked past multiple door and finally reached the balcony. The Lord hoisted himself up and stood on the balustrade, balancing on his toes to avoid falling down. M. rushed over to help him stabilize himself as he waved down one of the clouds floating nearby. It flew over to them and both M. and the Lord mounted it. Immediately, the cloud took off.

A while passed before they settled comfortably in between the fluffy folds of their ride. When they finally did so, the Lord deemed it appropriate to disclose his plans to M. “I will replace the Sun.

M. felt all the blood leave his face and his soul escape his body. “Excuse me?”

“I shall replace the Sun, my dear M.” Said the Lord. “After we arrive I want you to send the letter to Mrs. Angela so that she can move the Bureau to the new place. Here, have this.”

Saying that, the Lord rummaged through his thick, brown fur coat and finally drew out a piece of parchment and a pen. M. dutifully took them from him and clutched them to his chest, to prevent the wind from sweeping them away.

“My Lord, but aren’t you too small to replace the Sun?” Asked M. After all, though The Lord's height was very impressive, he was nowhere near as huge as the Sun.

“Not at all!” Assured the Lord. “I can change my size however I want to. I can become even bigger than the Sun I ate, rest assured. The only issue will be the size of the Bureau. Come to think of it, in your note to Mrs. Angela could you also ask to enlarge the building?”

M., who already begun writing, nodded and included the request in the note. He signed it at the bottom with his name and then stuffed the parchment in his mouth. After chewing it thoroughly, he swallowed, and almost immediately -- the parchment flew out of his nose and back towards the Bureau.

“It is done, my Lord.” Said M.

“Very well” Praised the Lord.

These were the last words they exchanged, as they finally arrived at the place from which the Lord plucked the Sun.

The space was vast and cold, and M. could already see the various planets slowly veering off their course. He fretted, but the Lord didn’t seem to mind it at all.

With a wave he sent the cloud off and with another one he flew further into the empty space. Then, with a series of loud claps, he suddenly grew bigger. So big in fact, that M. got nearly blown away.

Fortunately, the Lord noticed it and kept him close in his now-gigantic hand.

They remained like this for some time, waiting for the air around them to calm.

“Did it work, my Lord?” Asked M., unable to see anything thanks to the palm that encircled him.

“Look for yourself, M.” Said the Lord, and carefully opened his fist. 

Everything around them glowed softly. Or rather the Lord glowed softly, illuminating the previously empty sky, making it look warm and homely. Though it wasn’t nearly as blinding as the previous Sun (in fact, it wasn’t blinding at all), it had an inner heat to it that was even better than that of the Sun. Everything seemed to veer back into its place and M. sighed in relief.

“It looks like my Lord managed to bring everything back in order again.”

The Lord hummed in response. With that, they both fell into silence and looked at the planets slowly circling around them. It was truly a beautiful view.

Soon after, Mrs. Angela arrived with a newly re-sized Bureau and they lived on their lives as usual, with their Lord bearing the additional responsibility of being a Sun.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I should do literally anything but this, but hey -- procrastination, amirite?  
> This might be a series or might not be one, alternatively I just might add other unrelated short stories to this if I feel like it.  
> Yeehaw.


End file.
